In My Life

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Power of Being Open

By Victoria Verrall

Being open can open up a lot of channels we had not anticipated to come in our lives. Closed people are always set in their own ways that daily opportunities will pass them by. When you are open, you open the doors of analysing opportunities that suite your goals, values and abilities at the time of they are coming. Remember an opportunity comes by every day and only those open enough will see it. Do you ever wonder why some people see the deals every day and others see non in decades. Well it is the power of openness that guides their instincts.

So how can we learn to be open?

Know that we are all different. One mans meat is another's poison; therefore do not expect every one to agree to what you view as a deal. Know your goals in and out and set out to achieve them using specific strategies that have been tested before. That way you will not try to force your idea of right or wrong to others. Our uniqueness is an empowerment we should enhance as that gives us excellence in different abilities.

Be willing to learn new ways of doing things.

There is a wealth of knowledge out there but you will have to be willing to search for it and do the work. I have always been a knowledge seeker but not a work doer. Take an example of the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill; it calls for a lot of involvement from the reader including affirmations and goal targets. The first time I read it was not productive as I just it through like a novel. It is not a novel but a manual, until you use it like one. You will not gain from it. Being open to instruction will enable you to learn and take one of the quickest routes to personal growth and development.

JOB, JOBS, EMPLOYMENT

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The Way It Is, Is The Way We All Make It

By Joshua Clayton

In life, volitional purpose is the power. The only freedom we have as conscious sentient beings, if anything else is not available to us is our thoughts and what we all choose to make of them. Unconscious life does not have that freedom, despite some people screaming that unconscious beings can build societies and have the same rights as conscious beings. For the way it is, is the way we all make it consciously. Nothing else matters.

Sure, I will admit that I do sound extreme. But I am only being overtly logical for this reason. Because at the deepest and shallowest levels, reality works this way. It works on more than confidence, and people respect results more than they respect intentions. That is just the reality of the situation.

I know that this way of thinking seems limited to some, but, you have to go from the limited to the unlimited in a growth oriented way to get anywhere in life and existence. We all start out at zero and we can go up, down or anywhere we want or need to go. Sure, that sounds limited. But the journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step, even if you are getting on a plane or ship. Likewise with reality. For, indeed, the fantasy is that we are "there" and can grow "sideways without effort." It does not work that way, even for those who have it "easy," especially for those who have it "easy." Conscious nature is made to work best in the midst of the use of growth potential or the fulfillment of effort and reality. Well, ease makes laziness in that sense then, does it not? Yes, I definitely think so. Some of the greatest accomplishments of the conscious mind comes when things are hard and made easier. For the way it is, is the way we all make it.

Sure, this sounds like "cracker barrel" philosophy and physics to some, but this eminently shows nothing other than reality as it is and as it really works and nothing more. Reality is what I live by in a cold way without let up of any sort, sure I feel the feelings everyone else has. But I do not let them stop me from doing what I genuinely need to do. The way I like it is the way it is for me, and I'll always work on it, through it and at it. As for being master of fate and captain of soul, that must be earned, even for those it is "given to," it is not given. It must be worked for and worked, or it is worth nothing, no matter if you are born rich or whatever. We all have the same challenges to develop no matter what. That is my point and the way it is, is the way we all make it.

When Leadership Is Missing

By Keith J Johnston

If you are a sports enthusiast you understand the concept of momentum in sports and the importance of momentum in the success or failure of your team. A key to building and maintaining momentum in sports, and in business, is leadership. When leadership is missing it is difficult, if not impossible, to create the momentum necessary to win.

While photographing a high school football game a few years ago, I watched in agony as the home town team fell behind by 28 points in the first quarter. Although this was not an insurmountable lead, you could see the energy drain from the team as the visitors took advantage of their mistakes. The tide turned in the second quarter, and the home team scored a touchdown. A few minutes later the home team intercepted a pass and ran it in for a second score, closing the gap to 14 points. I thought this was the perfect time for the team leaders to step in to fire up the team and sustain the momentum that had been generated. As I looked to the players, I was shocked to see the same depressed looks and negative body language that I had seen just a few minutes earlier. Not a single player was shouting words of encouragement or making an attempt to convince their teammates that the game was not over. If they could score again quickly, they would be right back in the game. I wandered down the sideline in total disbelief, and ran into a fellow photographer who was the parent of one of the home team players. I looked at her and said: "Scotty, I can't believe what I am seeing." Scotty completed my thought with her own words: "I know what you are going to say: "No leadership." She added that this had been a problem the whole season. Parents and fans had come to realize there was little hope for a victory once their team fell behind by more than a touchdown. The final score of the game was 52 - 14. This was not a situation of one team being far superior to the other, as each team had a 2 - 2 record coming into the game, this was a prime example of what happens when leadership is missing.

I reflected on the game the next day. I recalled situations in my career where leadership was lacking. One case in particular involved a large consulting project for an oil company in Houston. The project represented a major undertaking for the consulting firm, and several aspects of the project involved new technologies and untested processes. A few months into the project it became apparent that the original estimates were far too low and the consulting firm would incur substantial losses if it were to deliver what it had promised. The situation deteriorated, finger pointing began, and the project went from bad to worse. Like the football game, there were no leaders who emerged to turn the situation around or turn what seemed to be an inevitable outcome into a positive experience. The difference between this business case and the football game is that the consulting firm was able to bring in a new leadership team to take control of the project. With a new team and a new approach the project was brought under control, and although the consulting firm incurred financial losses, they were able to leverage the experience they gained on this project to ultimately dominate a new market and bring in profits which more than made up for their losses.

How about you? Do you find that your organization has a difficult time building momentum, or do you have leaders in your organization who can step up and turn a negative situation into a positive one? Have you tried to tap into leadership skills that may be lying dormant on your team? More importantly, do your people understand leadership? In most cases leadership is missing simply because organizations have never taken the time to educate and empower their teams with leadership skills. If there are natural leaders on your team, you may be in luck, assuming the situation arises that sparks the natural leader into action. Successful sports teams and businesses do not leave leadership to chance. They invest time in helping their people realize their leadership potential. The organizations that take the time to invest in their people, their principal asset, find that the rewards far outstrip the costs.

Personal Branding - Tips

By Rory Singh

In every industry, business is built on relationships. Personal branding is very important because people will first buy you, then from you. Here are some tips to get you started:

Here are 7 Tips for Personal Branding:

1. Your Name:

People will first see your name before an opportunity to meet you is established. If you are involved in business and have your own website, make sure to have your full name at the top of the page clearly. Make sure to use your full name not just the short version. Let's say your name is Bill Beatty. Make sure to display your full name as William Beatty. The full version of your name looks and sounds more reliable and professional. Be sure to use it as an advantage.

2. Professional Pictures:

Pictures give people the more personal touch. Your picture is what will give people a first impression of you. Make sure too choose pictures that will give you leverage and open the door to establishing a relationship. Take tons of pictures and choose the best of the best.

3. Include your Name in the Domain:

If you have your own website, you can include your name in the domain. So your website would be called: YourName.com. You are scoring points with people even before they get into your website.

4. The Look and Feel of Your Website:

Your website is what people first see before they meet you, so it is very important to display the type of theme that you are trying to send out. Let's say you are in a Real Estate business. Your website may need to look more professional with professional pictures of you. Your website theme should then also look professional. Now if you are in a home based business, you may want to come across with the more casual and relaxed approach. For home business websites, casual / business clothing usually works the best. It gives people the less formal look but at the same time still gives the hint of professionalism. Be sure to use colors schemes, templates and buttons that match the type of feeling that you are trying to portray.

5. Video:

If you are confident enough, then use some video on your websites. Video converts higher when done right. At first, you may feel awkward but with practice you will get better and start looking and feeling more confident. People will definitely get a feel of what you have to offer. Just remember to be yourself.

6. Audio:

Audio is the next best thing to video. You can add audio to your site if you are not comfortable doing videos or you can add both. Audio can allow you to get your message across confidently without having to worry about what you look like. For some people, audio performs better than video.

7. Believe in Yourself:

If you are new to a particular industry, do not concern yourself about being inexperienced. Use strong points from other aspects in your life and add that energy to your present business. The more you believe in yourself, the more people will believe in you. When you are confident, everything just flows into your life effortlessly.

Conflict - Burden Or Gift? You Decide

By Lynn Banis

Managing conflict is something we have to do, sometimes on a daily basis. There is conflict at home, at the office, in social settings, in volunteer situations, in sports events - you name it. Everywhere we go there is a chance for conflict. It use to be that we were taught to resolve conflict. That lasted until people finally realized that some conflict is good. It allows for different ways of seeing things, it causes us to grow and to expand our thinking and it can teach us that we are wrong sometimes. Even so, many people dislike conflict and will go to great lengths to avoid it. Here are some ways to look at and to deal with conflict that might be helpful to you.

1. Think of conflict as energy. The energy is being focused in a manner that results in conflict. That energy could be directed elsewhere. When you are working in a conflictual situation ask yourself what you can do to redirect that energy into a useful path. How can you manage that energy? What would be a better use for that energy? How can you approach the other person(s) in a way that would dissipate or refocus that energy? Where can you redirect your own energy? Remember, the energy is going somewhere so you might as well get in control of it as much as you can.

2. Look at conflict as tension. There is tension between the opposing factions, each pulling in a different direction. Ask yourself this questions, "Is this a tension I want to manage or is it a problem I need to solve?" Get very clear on what is going on - do not make assumptions. Check things out before you make your final decision so that you can figure out what the best path is.

3. Break things down into their parts. Figure out what the issues are before trying to deal with the conflict. Let's say you go to a teach conference and are told that children are making fun of your child because she talks in class and she doesn't get her work done on time. There are three issues here. One is that she talks to other kids during class, the second is that she does not get her work done on time and the third is that kids are making fun of her. You can deal fairly easily with the work issue by monitoring her homework. The second is more difficult but it can be managed between you and the teacher. The third issue is more difficult and is probably worthy of more thought.

So, it is a matter of how you look at it. Conflict can be a burden if you are afraid of it and see it that way. It can be a gift when you see it as an opportunity to hone your skills and learn to see things in a different way. You decide.

Violence and Anger

By Aaron Karmin

What has been the most comment ailment of the past few decades? Not cancer, AIDS, drug abuse or heart disease, but violence. More people have died violently in the past century than in any other. There is no basis for assuming that the next decade will be any less violent because we are not taking any steps to make it so.

Every year, there are millions of acts of violence. Some are fatal, some result in permanent injury or mental scars. Others end up orphaning their children and widowing their spouses. There are public and private agencies attempting to deal with the plague of violence in our country, but their focus seems to be on the overt act, such as firing handguns or battering spouses. If they can prevent these acts, they feel that they will have prevented violence. But the underlying issues that instigate the individual to seek violent solutions has not been identified or addressed. Another mistake that we make is to treat violence as if it were a natural force, an animal instinct which we have no power to control. Criminals have been using this excuse for years. It exempts them from the consequences of their self-indulgent behavior. We need to stop taking these self-serving alibis at face value if we hope to break the cycle of violence.

The cycle is not transmitted by our genetic inheritance from our less evolved ancestors. It was modeled for us by the significant others we encountered in our young lives. We learn to accept brutality as an efficient problem solving technique. It requires no cerebral exertion at all. Kids who were exposed to violence often raise their kids using violence. They feel justified in doing so, "If it was good enough for me, its good enough for them. That's fair." We cannot argue with this childish logic. It is not logic at all. There is no rational think involved. It is the emotional convictions that were formalized in their childhood being replayed on an endless loop. An emotional legacy passed on from one generation to the next.

It should be noted, that the notion of learning by example is not absolute. Some children of non-violent parents become violent on their own. Conversely, many children of violent parents reject this brutal example. Some go to the extreme of crusading against violence. Others find a middle ground, where they can solve interpersonal problems cooperatively as equal members of the human race.

There is no instinct for beating up first-graders. If there were, everyone would be doing it, not just bullies. Civilized human beings take time to learn how to manage their emotions. The problem is that hardly anyone has the time to teach it these days. We should be teaching young people how to express their anger appropriately, finding a middle ground between too much and too little. We should teach them how to identify the underlying problems that lead them to take others' behavior personally. We all have buttons that can be pushed, such as:

"I want my way and you are not giving it to me."

"It's not fair."

"You are wrong."

"You betrayed me."

"You don't appreciate me"

"You're a bully."

These comments first arise in childhood and make us vulnerable to becoming excessively angry. If these patterns of thinking can be identified and put in a more manageable perspective, we would be less vulnerable to over-reacting and the violence statistics would go down. As it is now, we are not well educated in these matters because we are denying that we have an anger problem. We prefer to call our problem violence. As a consequence of our denial, we are a nation with a high rate of aggression.

However, the issue is not violence or aggression, the issue is mismanaged anger. There is no violence without anger. Violence is an emotional response to being hurt or threatened. Our epidemic of gang violence and murder are not senseless crimes, they are crimes of anger. Most perpetrators have been through the medical and legal system, which leaves their anger undiagnosed and untreated. The present system refuses to help. It does not seem to know what to do about anger except to use medication or incarceration. No one is learning anything.

The cycle violence generally follows a pattern. Often the batterer will say that the victim is the one responsible for his rage and that he wouldn't need to hit, if the victim didn't "make him" angry. After a violent episode, the batterer may apologize, promise to make it up to the victim, blame his behavior on alcohol, stress at work, etc., and promise that the violence will stop. At those times, he may behave in a loving manner, and the victim wants to trust that he means what he says. The victim may respond by trying to change their behavior to please the batterer, only to find that he becomes enraged about something else. It may always be something else. Over the course of time, the victim might even start to believe that the violence is your fault. The victim's self-esteem may begin to unravel until they may feel virtually powerless in their relationship with him.

It is important to remind yourself that there is never a circumstance under which you or your children, if you have them, should be subjected to physical abuse. If at any time conversations or interactions become physically threatening, the individuals need to walk away and separate. If physical safety cannot be established, call the police immediately to ensure personal wellbeing

Do not take their anger personally, as if it were a reflection on your self-worth as a person. Self-respecting people who are in control of themselves and are confident in their ability to cope are less likely to be victimized then people who doubt their self-worth. It is also important not to protect violent people from the consequences of their behavior. Do not make excuses for them. That is enabling! They behave violently because there are no consequences and they can get away with it, someone is letting them. By offering consequences to others for their choices, you are letting them know what is unacceptable. It takes courage because anger and violence is scary. But if we give into this fear, the violence will win and everyone loses.

If you have an anger problem in your home, job or family, do not let yourself be drawn into a power struggle over who can hurt whom. Acts of violence are a symptom of anger. Do not deal with symptoms, for they are just smoke and mirrors for the deeper issues. Instead it can help to respond to a false accusation or situation of unfairness with a focusing question, "What happened to make you so angry?" Even if you do not get an answer right away, you have given their behavior a name and offered them permission to talk about it. You have done the unexpected, which disrupts the eye for an eye revenge seeking expectation that is typical with being hurt. Ask another question, "What angered you the most about it?" You can offer them some choices by giving the individual an alternative outlet for their out of control anger. We can ask, "What would you prefer instead?" These questions are like seeds in a garden, you may not get growth immediately, but with time you can have an abundant harvest.

Using these focusing questions helps to gain an understanding, rather then forcing agreement. These questions are a way to get beyond the smoke and mirror of defensiveness and pleading your case. Theses questions helps to peel the onion and that is where the meat of the problems is, but man it stinks and causes tears along the way. After you have focused their anger at those who have caused them to lash out, you can ask, "Who else are you angry at?" In almost every case of violence, the assaulter is angry at themselves for some failure or weakness for which they feels guilty and at fault. This can make some sense if we see their violence as a way to punish themselves and bring about their own pain for the guilt they feel. Simply put when we are angry at ourselves, we act in ways to bring about our own pain as punishment for the choices we have made. This is their self-contempt. The antidote consists of replacing self-contempt with self-respect. Self-respect is the feeling that we are worth-while human beings in spite of our faults and imperfections. At the same time, exaggerated behaviors of anger are replaced with appropriate self expression that uses words to describe how we feel.

Getting Things Done With Simple Mindmaps

By Meredith Eisenberg

This is the simple story of how I finally managed to come up with a task management system that works for me based on five simple principles and a great planning tool. Using this system, I had my most productive month ever last month. Here's how I did it.

My addiction to productivity systems goes back a LONG way. I was one of those "one armed bandits" who wandered around with my gigantic day planner (thus, effectively disabling one arm and limiting my ability to get things done. In the online world, I have tried many different flavors of getting things done and used systems ranging from remember the milk, toodledoo, basecamp, priacta, etc. I would do great for a month or but then my lists would once again get completely overwhelming.

This past August, was my busiest month so far in my practice. Lots of new clients and exciting projects -- but not so much time. Fortunately, in a particularly desparate moment (funny how the universe works that way), I got an e-mail from Bob the Teacher offering up a fabulous "productivity package" with mind mapping tools (using a free mind mapping program called freemind) at a reasonable price. I bought the package - because I wanted his pre-done productivity map.

My new mindmap has branches for each month, then each week, then every day. Within the day, there are three "buckets" now, later and finished. As I went through the day, I could move tasks from one branch to the next. Using the now branch, I can keep track of the task that I'm currently doing (very handy for coming back to work after an interruption. The finished section is also a morale booster -- it is great to look back and see what you've gotten done for the day. I tweaked Bob's model, by adding "delegated/waiting for branch". I work very closely with a select few clients. I needed to have a place to park things that were "in progress" and/or waiting for a response from someone else before I could proceed.

Mindmaps are also good for people with mild ADD (like me). I can collapse the individual branches and only work on the task at hand. Looking at the whole map at once can seem very overwhelming.

After using the mindmap for a few weeks, I decided that the reason why my past time management systems didn't work was because they were way too complicated. I used to slice and dice my tasks by client, by context (phone, computer, home, errand) -- but all the sorting caused tasks to fall through the cracks. Giant lists of tasks that are "someday/maybe" can also be demoralizing if they are in view all the time. For my actual to do list, the mindmap is working very well for me. I still use Basecamp to track and monitor individual client projects - I move my to do's from those projects over to my mindmap.

In playing with productivity systems for almost 30 years (could it be that long? I guess I started young....) I've discovered different methods work for different people. What works for you?

NOW Time - Use It Or Lose It

By Steve Wickham
Customarily we think of saving for the rainy day. Many of us do it and it's a wise thing to do. We need be careful, however, not to store up so much that will never be used, missing our opportunities to sow into life.

Now time is a principle enfolded in the ancients.

There have been thousands of years of now time that have, until now, either been spent wisely or foolishly; mostly the latter as is our nature. Saving our now time is not a wise investment. Once 'now's' gone it's gone forever.

We're given the moment - this very second, in fact - as a down-payment to live eternally, which is to appreciate from where our time comes, and always to keep that firmly in mind as we live it.

The 'Long Life' Fallacy

Life seems so long. Frankly, it isn't. It's not on our terms as we look back; it's not on God's terms that way either.

The candle's snuffed out all too soon and that's the case for those who wither and die, not counting the cases of acute death - those taken suddenly away; forever gone. It may be horrible to put it that way, but it's the truth.

What now is being put off that could or should be done?

What are we missing out on - that God has perhaps willed for us to enjoy, including giving - because we're so bent on saving?

Why are we living ultra-conservatively when God has asked us to live vibrantly, openly and freely? There are, of course, many similar questions we could add.

Where 'Long Life' is True

The longest life possible is the one that is packed to the brim, not with stuff, but with meaning.

More that life has meaning, the more hope there is, and the slower - in bliss - our days become. Suddenly we look over the year that's gone and we don't feel so cheated. Instead we're contented.

We embraced our now time and we know we had good value for it.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

What is Success?

We would all differ in opinion since this is a subjective… well, subject. I don’t think there is a right or wrong as to how we define success. No black and white but certain shades of gray; shades that could look different to each and every one of us. One person might consider someone very successful yet another person might completely disagree. It all boils down to how we define success.

But what do most people equate with success?

Most people would tend to equate success with money; the more money you have, the more successful you are. I agree and disagree. Confusing? I will try to explain. For example, a person who makes money out of child labor, out of war, out of dealing weapons, etc. Would you think that person successful? I wouldn’t. That person might have made enough money to last him several lifetimes but what kind of impact did he make? Was it a good one? How many lives were stepped on for him to make his fortune? I do not equate destroying lives with success. Having a negative impact on society is not success. Stepping on other people’s rights is not success.

On the other hand there are people who become extremely rich doing what they love and at the same time having a positive impact on society as a whole. I would like to state J.K Rowling as an example. She is what I consider a modern hero and my personal favorite. She gave the current generation the love of reading. She’s the woman who started… restarted the trend. I started to love reading and writing after reading her books. In my honest opinion, I think she now sits next to Tolkien’s throne but that is another article all on its own. J.K Rowling put all her love, all her passion in her books, endearing her to the world and making her one of the richest in it. She is a woman who has put a dent in the universe. Now, that is my definition of success.

By Chase Alexander Nathaniel Vega, englisharticles.info

Cocaine

by englisharticles.info

An addictive drug that stimulates the central nervous system and induces feelings of euphoria. Cocaine is most often found in the form of white powder and is typically ingested by inhaling or “snorting,” usually through a straw or other tube, into the nose. It can also be injected into the veins. After conversion back to its base form, cocaine can be smoked, which is known as “free-basing.”

Cocaine use can lead to severe psychological and physical dependence. It can increase the pulse, blood pressure, body temperature and respiratory rate. Paranoid psychosis, hallucinations and other mental health problems can result from cocaine use. Cocaine use also causes bleeding and other damage to nasal passages. Cocaine-related heart and respiratory failure can lead to death.

In pregnancy, cocaine use endangers the unborn child, who may be born prematurely, with low birth weight, a variety of serious birth defects and later learning and behavioral problems. Crack is a form of cocaine base that is smoked and is most highly addictive. Cocaine is sometimes used with other drugs. The cocaine-heroin combination is called a “speedball,” and the cocaine-PCP mixture is known as “space base.” Different users react to the drug in different ways. However, many experience an instant feeling of enormous pleasure known as a “rush.” Initially it may also make the user feel energetic and selfconfident. However, the pleasurable feelings produced by cocaine are followed by depression and fatigue, known as a “crash.” To avoid the “crash,” users take more cocaine, establishing a cycle of use and dependency that is extremely difficult to end and often requires lengthy treatment.

Estimates of Cocaine Usage and Costs

During 2000 there were an estimated 1,707,000 chronic cocaine users and 3,035,000 occasional cocaine users in the United States. According to What America’s Users Spend on Illegal Drugs, users spent $35.3 billion on cocaine in 2000, a decrease from the $69.9 billion spent in 1990. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Results From the 2002 National Survey of Drug Use and Health: National Findings found that more than 33 million people ages 12 and older (14.4 percent) in 2002 reported that they had used cocaine at least once in their lifetime. More than 8 million Americans (3.6 percent) ages 12 and older had used crack cocaine at least once in their lifetime.

Treatment for cocaine use

Researchers are working to identify and test medications for treating cocaine addiction. One medication is Selegiline, which seems to be the most promising experimental medication, according to the Monitoring the Future Study. Another medication, disulfiram, which has been used to treat alcoholism, has been effective in treating cocaine abuse in clinical trials. Often antidepressants are prescribed to help people cope with the mood changes that come with withdrawal from cocaine use.

Treatments such as cognitive-behavioral coping skills focusing on the learning process have been effective in cocaine addiction but are a short-term approach. Behavioral treatment is useful to help people recognize, avoid and cope with situations when they are most likely to use cocaine.

Legislation and medical use

Cocaine falls under Schedule II of the Controlled Substance Act. A Schedule II Controlled Substance has a high potential for abuse but is currently accepted for medical use in treatment in the United States, which means it is occasionally administered by a doctor for legitimate medical uses, such as for a local anesthetic for some eye, ear and throat surgeries.

Cocaine is produced from the coca leaf in two stages to yield coca paste and then cocaine base. The coca leaf is grown primarily in Peru, Bolivia and, to a lesser extent, Colombia. The conversion to the white crystalline powder form, cocaine HCl, is done primarily in Colombia but occurs elsewhere in the Andean region.